Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Behavior Management and the Acting Out Cycle

Classroom Management During the Holidays

Feeling stressed? It would not be surprising! During December, it’s hard to avoid the intensity of the holiday season – whether you celebrate or not. Psychologists tell us that anxiety can exist within systems of people, not just individuals, so that even if you are not particularly stressed out yourself, you can absorb the stress that’s in the environment. And so can children, of course, which makes a difficult situation in our classrooms.
 Holiday Stress
The most important strategy to combat the holiday pressure is to recognize the extra stress and try not to let it take over the classroom. Children will have a lower tolerance for frustration, they will be triggered more easily, and you will likely have less patience. Here are some practical suggestions for having a peaceful, and hopefully productive holiday season in your classroom:

  1. Slow down. Leave extra time, especially for transitions which are likely to trigger conflict.
  2. Have group relaxation moments. Quiet the class down and lead the children through your favorite breathing exercises. Have them relax their shoulders and legs, and visualize a peaceful place. You don’t need more than a couple of minutes and this is especially effective first thing in the morning, right after lunch or recess, and before packing up at the end of the day.
  3. Observe your children for signs of agitation – nail biting, tapping, rocking, facial changes, etc. When you see this, try to redirect them for a minute or two by getting a drink of water, stretching, or just a pat on the back. Remember the acting out cycle and don’t let the agitation build with intensity and move to acceleration phase.
  4. Keep the daily schedule consistent, even though you may have to interrupt it with more assemblies, parties, visitors, etc.
  5. Monitor your own tone of voice. Smile frequently, even if you don’t feel like it, and keep an eye on the tension in your own body. Take more frequent breaks if you can. If you are working with another teacher, make an effort to give each other quick breaks throughout the day.
  6. Take the children outside. In northern climates, children get less time outside as we move through December. Their need to move, breathe fresh air, and feel the freedom of outdoor play is decreased just when the stress increases. Even though it might be getting cold, be sure to give the children time outside.
  7. Have some fun with your children! Plan some movement games, special story readings, creative art projects, or songs to build community and remind the children that school can also be joyful.
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THE ACTING OUT CYCLE
It may often seem that children's tantrums, hitting, fighting, or other challenging behaviors come out of nowhere. In actuality, there is a cycle that children go through when they act out and this can be predictable. Sometimes, it just happens so quickly it may be hard to recognize. Understanding this cycle helps us to know how to intervene and when.
     I highly recommend the IRIS Center for Training Enhancements that has a detailed training module for teachers on the acting out cycle. Today, I will highlight some of the major points that can help teachers of young children.
     Here's a diagram that the IRIS Center uses to describe the acting out cycle:



     From this diagram, you can see that children start out at a Calm Phase. Typically something happens in the child's environment that acts as a trigger that begins the acting out cycle. This trigger could be something at school like being told it's clean up time, transitioning to a math lesson, coming back from lunch, another child coming too close, etc. Other triggers can come from outside of school: being hungry, tired, having a chaotic morning at home, an argument on the bus, and so on.
     So the first strategy a teacher can use is to help the child avoid or manage his triggers. For example, if you know that Kevin tends to get angry and hit children when the class is coming in from recess, you can use some prevention strategies such as asking Kevin to come in for a special job ahead of the rest of the class. Or you can walk next to Kevin, engaging him in conversation as you enter the classroom. If you know that Jenny begins to have tantrums at the beginning of clean-up time, you can give her early notice that center time is ending, or get her to stop ahead of the other children and then give her a job to do - like watering the plants -  that is away from all the movement during clean up time.
     Next in the acting out cycle is the Agitation Phase. In my view this is the critical phase. At this point, children's emotions and behaviors begin to gain energy. If you are attuned to this phase, you may notice nail biting, hair twirling, tapping, wiggling, inability to sit still, a lack of focus, or daydreaming. Some children will clench their fists, or their jaw, making a grimace or showing frustration on their face. It is at this point when intervention by the teacher is most effective and most necessary. Your goal in the agitation phase is to restore calm, otherwise the child will move into the acceleration phase and can become out of control. It's especially important NOT to yell at the child or add to their growing tension with lecturing or reprimands.
     Calming a child in the agitation phase can be as simple as moving your body close by, giving some focused attention on the child, or redirecting the child toward a different activity. Here are some examples:

    4-year old Carmen is playing in the housekeeping area and two other girls move close to her to play with the kitchen items. Carmen makes an angry face and starts to push their things off the table. You quickly walk over and engage Carmen in a conversation about her play. She starts to relax and smile so you make suggestions about playing together with the other girls.

    Let's imagine a 2nd grade classroom. You've just finished guided reading and the children are going back to their desks to start journal writing. Michael, who is typically overwhelmed by writing, begins with a few words but gets frustrated, tears out the page and crumples it up. You walk over quickly and calmly and talk to him about his writing ideas. He chooses an idea and you suggest he just write a couple of words and then you'll come back over and check in with him. Michael begins writing again and is able to complete a full sentence.

    Tyler, a kindergartener, has been engaged and sitting quietly throughout the shared reading time. Toward the end of the book, he begins to fidget on the carpet and starts rocking his body side to side. You notice this and call on Tyler to come up and point to one of the words in the Big Book that starts with the same letter as his name. He quickly gets up and bounces to the front of the carpet.

     The most important thing to keep in mind is reducing the energy and restoring calm. If at this phase, for example, the teacher reprimanded Michael for tearing up the paper, or yelled at Tyler to sit still, it could easily have pushed the child into the acceleration phase rather than restoring calm. This is the critical time to be careful and thoughtful with your approach, especially with children who are prone to acting out.
      In summary, the most helpful way to deal with challenging behavior is to prevent it, of course. Paying attention to children's triggers and their agitation phase can reduce a great deal of problems.
It is in the acceleration phase when some teachers first notice a problem, because the child increases his efforts to engage the teacher - often through arguing, refusing to do what was asked, and perhaps beginning to push or kick other children or things. Once again, our goals needs to be to cool things off and calm the child down, even if it means ignoring some of these behaviors for the time being. The worst thing a teacher can do at this point is engage in a power struggle. This adds tension and intensity to the child's emotional state and will push the child right into the peak phase. Imagine the child's behavior as a run-away train. We can either help put on the brakes, or add fuel to the engine that pushes it into worse behavior. Here are some examples:
  • First grader, Kaylie, is working with two other children at their desks, putting together a word puzzle. She begins to get frustrated when she is not able to take over control of the puzzle, whining at the girls, and jumping out of her seat. The teacher is helping children across the room and doesn't notice this until Kaylie yells at the girls, "I wanna do it myself!" and sweeps some of the pieces off onto the floor. The teacher notices this and asks her to pick them up. Kaylie responds, stamping her feet, "No, I won't. You can't make me." The teacher calmly approaches her and, with a neutral tone of voice, she asks Kaylie to come for a walk with her. She takes her to the hallway and suggests she gets a drink of water. As Kaylie calms down, the teacher is able to talk with her about problem-solving how to work with the other girls.
  • Three-year old Jackson is playing with the blocks, trying to build a large tower. Mark comes over and places a block on top of his tower. Jackson screams, "Stop it! My tower", and the boy moves away. The teacher is in the art area, and doesn't notice Jackson's agitation. A few minutes later, Mark returns to the area, and tries again to place a block on Jackson's tower. Jackson screams, "Stop it!" and pushes Mark away, causing him to tumble backwards. The teacher quickly comes over and with a calm, soothing voice says, "Jackson, You've got a lot of blocks on that tower." She sits down next to him, between him and Mark and puts her hand on his shoulder. "It looks like you really want to work on this tower by yourself." As Jackson shows signs of calming down, she prompts, "Jackson, can you say to Mark, I want to work alone?" He repeats this and she turns to Mark to help him find another activity.
  • Marco, a second grader, begins to wriggle on the rug while the teacher reads a story and asks the class questions. He begins to call out answers and his teacher reminds him to raise his hand. He continues to wriggle around on the rug, bumping into the children next to him. He calls out a few more times, but does not get the teacher's attention. He starts to poke the boy next to him who yells out, "Stop it! That hurt!" The teacher calmly asks Marco to come sit next to her, and she decides to get out individual white boards for the children to write answers on instead of calling on children to respond. Marco takes the board with a smile on his face. Later she will work with Marco on ways he can let her know when he needs a break from sitting on the rug at reading time.
     What do all these examples have in common? The teacher stayed calm -- in both tone of voice and body language. She redirected the child each time, rather than tackling head on the behavior problem. If the teacher had started to argue with Kaylie about picking up the puzzle pieces, or spoke in a harsh voice to Jackson about pushing Mark, or punished Marco by making him leave the rug, these children would have likely ramped up their own behavior into full-blown outbursts.

     The hardest part of this strategy is letting go of the idea that all inappropriate behavior must be corrected, punished, or dealt with immediately. When children are this agitated, the most important step is to cool them down so they can think and act more appropriately. The time to teach a child more appropriate behaviors is NOT when he is upset. When the child's anger is directed at us, rather than another child, this can be especially hard to do. With practice, being able to stay calm and redirect children's behavior during the Acceleration Phase will pay off in fewer severely inappropriate behaviors. You will also be more effective in teaching children appropriate behaviors to use instead.

     So far, we have looked at triggers, agitation, and acceleration in children's acting out cycle.  With careful observation and skills, we will never have to experience the Peak Phase of the cycle. Our goal should always be prevention. However, many children move rapidly through the cycle and we might be unable to intervene quickly enough.
     In the Peak Phase, the child is clearly out of control, perhaps kicking, throwing his body on the floor, screaming, and so on. There is nothing that can be done to prevent the behavior at this point, so the focus needs to be on keeping the child, other children, and property safe. Think ahead of time of a plan for out-of-control behavior so that all the adults in the room know how to respond. This is often the point at which we as teachers get very stressed - even frightened of children's behavior. Practice ahead of time using breathing techniques, positive thoughts ("I can handle this"), or other self-calming behaviors. The child needs YOU to stay calm in order to regain control!  Needless to say, lecturing, admonishing, yelling at, or threatening the child at this point will only prolong the behavior. Try calming techniques with the child, and if necessary, move the child to a safe place away from the rest of the children. The peak phase is usually intense but short-lived, if you don't add negative energy to it.
     As the child enters the De-escalation Phase, she will be more calm, and may withdraw or try to make amends. This is the time to get the class refocused on what they need to be doing and will lead us to the next phase: Recovery.
     Think of the Recovery Phase as a teachable moment. It's important to review what happened with the child and possibly with the class if there was a major interruption of their activities. Point out what might have triggered the meltdown, and make a plan with the child for how you will help her avoid triggers, or learn new behaviors for calming down, using words to express emotions or other needed social and emotional skills. And of course, follow up on your plan! I will share more ideas in later posts about teaching social and emotional skills to children as prevention strategies.
     For more information about the Acting Out Cycle, visit the IRIS Center. They have a variety of excellent, interactive training modules.
 [Adapted from Addressing Disruptive and Non-compliant Behaviors : Understanding the Acting-out Cycle. IRIS Center]

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Importance of Peace…


Last month we celebrated International Day of Peace, which took place September 21st.  This special day provides an opportunity for individuals, organizations and nations to create practical acts of peace on a shared date. It was established by a United Nations resolution in 1981 to coincide with the opening of the General Assembly. The first Peace Day was celebrated in September 1982.
In 2002 the General Assembly officially declared September 21 as the permanent date for the International Day of Peace.
By creating the International Day of Peace, the UN devoted itself to worldwide peace and encouraged all of mankind to work in cooperation for this goal. During the discussion of the U.N. Resolution that established the International Day of Peace, it was suggested that:
"Peace Day should be devoted to commemorating and strengthening the ideals of peace both within and among all nations and peoples…This day will serve as a reminder to all peoples that our organization, with all its limitations, is a living instrument in the service of peace and should serve all of us here within the organization as a constantly pealing bell reminding us that our permanent commitment, above all interests or differences of any kind, is to peace."
Since its inception, Peace Day has marked our personal and planetary progress toward peace. It has grown to include millions of people in all parts of the world, and each year events are organized to commemorate and celebrate this day. Events range in scale from private gatherings to public concerts and forums where hundreds of thousands of people participate.
Anyone, anywhere can celebrate Peace Day. It can be as simple as lighting a candle at noon, or just sitting in silent meditation. Or it can involve getting your co-workers, organization, community or government engaged in a large event. The impact if millions of people in all parts of the world, coming together for one day of peace, is immense.
International Day of Peace is also a Day of Ceasefire – personal or political. It is an excellent opportunity to make peace in your own relationships as well as impact the larger conflicts of our time. Imagine what a whole Day of Ceasefire would mean to humankind.
-Adapted from:  http://www.internationaldayofpeace.org/
As we enter into this busy holiday season (Rosh Hashanah, Dassera, Yom Kippur, Diwali, Halloween, Eid Al-Adha, Birth of the Bab and Baha’u’llah, Thanksgiving, Bodhi Day, Ashura, Christmas, and Kwanzaa…forgive me if I left anyone out), I urge you to take the time to think about and discuss the importance of peace with the young people in your life and community.  In this time of uncertainty within the world, the one thing we can all do is commit ourselves to being peaceable human beings and promoting tolerance in others.
Namaste,
Ms. Boudreau





Wednesday, August 31, 2011

WELCOME BACK!

Hello and welcome back to another wonderful school year! 

I am very excited to catch up with all of our students and families and am very much looking forward to getting to know all of our new ones.  I hope everyone found the summer relaxing and rejuvenating.

I am also very excited to share that I am now full time at Hatch school!  This will allow me even more opportunities to work with and support our students, families and staff.  The school year is only in it's second week and everyone is off to a wonderful start.  A new year holds so many new and exciting opportunities for everyone.

Please always feel free to contact me anytime with any questions, concerns, or ideas.  I am all ears and here to assist and encourage our students, families and staff.

In addition, please check back as I will be updating my blog with helpful information regarding social, emotional, and behavioral health throughout the year.

Sincerely,
Hannah C. Boudreau, MSW
Social Worker
Hatch Elementary School
"Our prime purpose in life is to help others.  And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."
The Dalai Lama

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Dialoguing and Effective Feedback with Children

Sometimes, effective communication with children can be a challenge for adults. Children do not always process things the same way as adults, nor do they always understand the complexities involved with navigating the social world. Two ways adults can help children is by dialoguing and giving effective feedback.

Help kids express emotions through dialoguing
• Mirroring – paraphrase it back
• Validation – have I got that right?
• Empathy – express understanding

Dialoguing is a method we use when kids are having a hard time managing their emotions, negative or positive. It’s a constructive way for them to get their feelings out in the open and have them validated by an adult. With practice, kids learn how to express their emotions appropriately.

Remember, you can mirror, validate and express empathy even if you disagree with what the child did or why.

Here’s how it works when you’re dialoguing with a child:
Mirroring: “So, you are telling me that you kicked the chair when you got angry at Bridget for taking away your ball?”

Validation: “Have I got that right? I can see that you are really feeling mad about not being able to play with the basketball. Is there more?”

Empathy: “I can imagine that you must feel really angry that you can’t play basketball when you’ve been waiting all day to get outside. That must be very frustrating.”

Why it Works
Mirroring is the process of accurately reflecting back the content of a message from someone with whom you are talking. The most common form of mirroring is paraphrasing. A paraphrase is a statement in your own words of what the message a child sends means to you.
It indicates that you are willing to transcend your own thoughts and feelings for the moment and attempt to understand the child from her/his point of view.
Any response made prior to mirroring is often an interpretation and may contain a misunderstanding. Mirroring allows a child to send a message and permits you to paraphrase until you understand.
Validation is a communication that the information being received and mirrored makes sense. It indicates that you can see her/his point of view and can accept its validity – it is true for the child. Validation is a temporary suspension or transcendence of your point of view that allows the child’s experience to have his own reality.

Phrases to Use
Typical validating phrases are, “I can see that …” or “You make sense to me because ….”
Or “I can understand that …”
Such phrases convey to the child that the subjective experience has its own logic and is a valid way of looking at things. To validate a child’s message does not mean that you agree with her/his point or view or that it reflects your subjective experience. It recognizes the fact that in any communication between two people, there are always two points of view.
Empathy is the process of reflecting, imagining or participating in the feelings the child is experiencing about the situation. This deep level of communication attempts to recognize, reach into and, on some level, experience the emotions of the child.

Phrases to Use
Typical phrases for empathic communication include: “And I can imagine that you must feel …” or “When you experience that, I hear …” or “I understand that you feel ….” Or
“That makes sense to me.”

Giving Effective Feedback

In addition to dialoguing, giving effective feedback is another wonderful way to help your child. Simply put, this involves three steps:
• DESCRIBE the situation
• DESCRIBE the behavior
• STATE the effect

Staying Constructive
Effective feedback gives kids specific information about the good and bad things they do in a constructive, respectful way that helps them improve. They will exhibit even more good behavior if they understand clearly the cause and effect. It may seem obvious to adults, but often the connection is missing in their minds.

Keep it Clear
DESCRIBE the situation
DESCRIBE the behavior
STATE the effect

Put it into Action

RIGHT WAY
When I checked out your room this morning, I saw that you brought all the trash and dishes to the kitchen. I realize I made the right decision to let you eat in your room.

NEEDS IMPROVEMENT
Good job on your room!

RIGHT WAY
At the playground, you grabbed the jump rope from Nellie. I could see she was mad and walked away. That left you without a friend to play with.

NEEDS IMPROVEMENT
One day you’re going to learn to share!

RIGHT WAY
I noticed you put the keys on the counter last night – I didn’t have to look around for them this morning when I was in a hurry to get to my meeting. Thanks.

NEEDS IMPROVEMNT
It’s about time you put the keys where they’re supposed to be!


Why it Works
The more attention kids get for the good things they do, the more they want to repeat the behavior. Pointing out what works and what doesn’t gives kids important information they need to reinforce good habits and positive behavior. By using description, you focus on what needs to be done instead of focusing on blame and wrongdoing.

Don’t Forget
Feedback is not just a different word for nagging! Nagging is negative, repetitive, and ineffective. If you find yourself saying the same thing over and over without results – it’s time to try another tack.

-Taken from WINGS for kids. www.wingsforkids.org