Dear Families and Colleagues,

 

Wishing you and the children of the world peace and goodwill this holiday season and throughout the New Year.

 

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with us.

 

Hannah C. Boudreau

 

 

K-5 Special Education Parent/Guardian Parent Night

WHEN:  Tuesday, October 9th from 6:30-8:00pm
WHERE:  Whittier Library

Please join us for an open discussion regarding safety concerns for your child & communicating your child’s needs to those that work and interact with your child.

Child Care will be provided on a space-availability basis for no charge. Advanced reservation is required (three days prior). 

Contact Susan Mura at smura@op97.org or Lori Janu-Chossek at ljanu-chossek@op97.org to hold a spot or if you have any questions.

Save the date for Future Parent Groups:
Tuesday, November 13th
Tuesday, December 11th

How Parents Can Support the Social and Emotional Development of Themselves and Others

Development of core social and emotional skills such as self management, healthy relationships and making responsible decisions are essential life skills with a myriad of benefits. Becoming proficient in these skills is a process that evolves over time, beginning in infancy and continuing through adulthood. For toddlers and youth, these skills are best learned in a caring, nurturing environment with adults who role model appropriate behaviors and emotions. Children also need an opportunity to practice the skills and receive constructive feedback. Although many schools are now intentionally embedding social and emotional instruction in the curriculum, parents and families play the critical, primary role in the development of these important skills. According to Daniel Goleman, “There are hundreds of studies showing that how parents treat their children – whether with harsh discipline or empathic understanding, with indifference or warmth, and so on – has deep and lasting consequences for the child’s emotional life.”*

In order for parents to support their child’s development in this area, they must have a good grasp of social emotional intelligence themselves.  Here are some tips for how parents can enhance their own social emotional skills and model them for their children: 

Self Awareness - Explore and identify your deepest feelings such as loneliness, shame, fear, betrayal, guilt, jealousy and joy. Assess your strengths and weaknesses honestly. Be confident with your decisions and actions.

Self Management – Learn to identify, express and manage your emotions.  Find what works for you to stay calm when you get angry. Monitor your stress to ensure it doesn’t negatively affect your health or relationships. Work with your children to organize your home and establish a few family goals to expose them to the goal setting process.  Celebrate your successes!

Social Awareness - Recognize, discuss and respect the differences in others. Honor your child’s feelings with an empathic response and look for opportunities to practice empathy with others. Teach your child how to read others’ feelings and social cues. Help your child resolve conflicts with friends peacefully.

Relationship Skills - Model healthy relationships with your spouse, friends and family. Learn to communicate effectively, be a good listener, be empathic, cooperate and compromise when needed. Apologize when you are wrong or make a mistake.

Responsible Decision Making – Practice making solid, fair and ethical decisions based on respect, social norms, and consequences. Follow the law. Practice honesty.

Remember that children are astute learners and learn as much from your behaviors as your rules, lectures and instruction.  Research has shown that children whose parents are emotionally adept have an astounding range of advantages both academically and socially. It is never too late to develop your social emotional skills. If you feel a need to enhance your parenting skills, seek out a support group or professional help. It’s one of the best gifts you could give yourself and your child.

*Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Dell, New York (2005)

What is SEL?

Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is the process of acquiring the skills to recognize and manage emotions,develop caring and concern for others, establish positive relationships, make responsible decisions, and handle challenging situations effectively.  SEL is fundamental children’s social and emotional development — their health, ethical development, citizenship, academic learning, and motivation to succeed.  Not only does SEL enhance academic outcomes for students, it also ensures that schools will address a broader mission of educating students to be good problem-solvers and caring, responsible, and engaged citizens.

Websites:

Child Development Institute,LLC:

www.childdevelopmentinfo.com

Collaborative for Academic Social

Emotional Learning (CASEL):

http://casel.org/sel/families.php

Search Institute’s parent resources:

www.parentfurther.com

Books:

Emotionally Intelligent Parenting:

How to Raise a Self-Disciplined,

Responsible, Socially Skilled Child.

Maurice Elias, Ph.D. et al. (2000).

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen &

Listen So Kids Will Talk. Adele Faber

and Elaine Mazlish.

(1980/1999).

Touchpoints: The Essential Reference—

Your Child’s Emotional and

Behavioral Development (birth to

age 3). T. Berry Brazelton, M.D.

(1992)

Teaching Empathy

One of the core skills of Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) is social awareness. According to Daniel Goleman in Emotional Intelligence (2005), developing social competence allows one to shape encounters, persuade, influence and inspire others, and thrive in intimate relationships. Empathy, or the ability to feel what others are feeling, is the foundation of social awareness.

We all want our children to grow up to be caring, capable, and responsible adults. Empathy is a skill that is used from childhood through adulthood in education, personal and social situations, business, volunteerism, and every other aspect of our lives. Empathy involves identifying and understanding another’s situation, emotions, and motives. It is the ability to see the world through another person’s eyes. Empathy allows us to treat others with kindness and respect. Empathy reduces violence and cruelty to others. To teach children to be empathic they first need to be taught the value and meaning of their own feelings. It is important to teach our children how to identify different emotions such as anger, frustration, guilt, fear and joy. Once they are able to identify their own emotions, we can teach them how to identify others’ feelings through facial cues, tone of voice and body language.  It is also important toteach good listening skills. Children who are empathic tend to have more positive relationships and do better in school. Conversely, children who are unable to interpret social cues, often are shunned or neglected by classmates.  Parents are the best teachers of empathy. Children who grow up in a caring, empathic family will be more likely to develop those skills. As with any skill or behavior, modeling is one of the best tools parents can use to teach empathy. The whole family can benefit from talking about empathy.  Parents can encourage siblings to talk about how their and others’ actions make them feel.  Empathy can help siblings negotiate compromises to problems and build cooperation with each other.  Empathy is one of the foundational skills parents can teach children to help them to a lifetime of success.

People will forget what you

said, people will forget what

you did, but people will never

forget how you made them

feel.

- Bonnie Jean Wasmund

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

·  Help your child identify his/her feelings. Use many different emotion words like: anxious, disappointed, cheerful, confident, frustrated, excited, nervous, etc.

·  Affirm your child’s feelings with empathy and acceptance.

· Teach your child to read the feeling cues of others like: body language, eye contact, and facial cues.

· When reading a story or watching TV, ask your child about the feelings of the characters.

· Role play with your child…How would you feel?

RESOURCES

Websites:

Collaborative for Academic Social Emotional Learning:

www.casel.org

Dr. Robert Brooks:

www.drrobertbrooks.com

Books:

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships.

(2006) Goleman, Daniel.

Teaching Empathy: A Blueprint for Caring, Compassion and Community. (2009) Levine, David A.

Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues That Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing. (2002) Borba, Michele, Ed.D.

The Importance of Balance...The Healthy Mind Platter by Dr. Rock and Dr. Siegel

Just yesterday, one of our District 97 Occupational Therapists, Ellen Tanner, did a presentation for the staff here at Hatch about "The Healthy Mind Platter" by Dr. David Rock and Dr. Daniel J. Siegel.  The Healthy Mind Platter consists of seven essential mental activities necessary for optimum mental health in daily life.

These seven daily activities make up the full set of ‘mental nutrients' that your brain needs to function at it's best. By engaging every day in each of these servings, you enable your brain to coordinate and balance its activities, which strengthens your brain's internal connections and your connections with other people. The seven essential daily mental activities are:
	Focus Time When we closely focus on tasks in a goal-oriented way, taking on challenges that make deep connections in the brain. Play Time When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous or creative, playfully enjoying novel experiences, which helps make new connections in the brain. Connecting Time When we connect with other people, ideally in person, or take time to appreciate our connection to the natural world around us, richly activating the brain's relational circuitry. Physical Time When we move our bodies, aerobically if possible, which strengthens the brain in many ways. Time In When we quietly reflect internally, focusing on sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, helping to better integrate the brain. Down Time When we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax, which helps our brain recharge. Sleep Time When we give the brain the rest it needs to consolidate learning and recover from the experiences of the day.
	There's no specific recipe for a healthy mind, as each individual is different, and our needs change over time too. The point is to become aware of the full spectrum of essential mental activities, and just like with essential nutrients, make sure that at least every day we are nudging the right ingredients into our mental diet, even for just a little time. Just like you wouldn't eat only pizza every day for days on end, we shouldn't just live on focus time and little sleep. Mental wellness is all about giving your brain lots of opportunities to develop in different ways. A fun use of this idea is to map out an average day and see what percentage of your time you spend in each area. Like a balanced diet, there are many combinations that can work well. In short, it is important to eat well, and we applaud the new healthy eating plate. However as a society we are sorely lacking in good information about what it takes to have a healthy mind. We hope that the healthy mind platter creates an appetite for increasing awareness of what we put into our minds too. About the creators The Healthy Mind Platter was created in collaboration by Dr. David Rock , executive director of the NeuroLeadership Institute  and Dr. Daniel Siegel , executive director of the Mindsight Institute and clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine. As well as running their own educational programs, Dr. Rock and Dr. Siegel are also both involved with The Blue School , which is building a new approach to education, in downtown NYC.